When Parents and Adult Children Are Estranged: Questions to Consider

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Why isolation can be an indicator of domestic violence

Editor�s Note: The following article is not related to any case in particular and offers general guidelines from a leading local expert.

QUINCY�With the approach of October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, MRN takes a look at the role of isolation and what loved ones can do.

Our expert is Jennifer Vancil, Chief Operating Officer of QUANDA or the Quincy Area Network Against Domestic Violence.

�A person who is causing harm may attempt to separate the victim from family and friends or make the victim feel as though their partner is the only person they can rely on. Over time, this can make it increasingly difficult for a victim to reach out for help or maintain those relationships,� Vancil explained.

So what is a family member to do?

�One of the most important things loved ones can do is continue to let that person know that, regardless of what happens or what decisions they make, they are there for them,� Vancil suggests. �For relatives and friends, it can be incredibly difficult to know what to do, particularly when they are worried about someone�s safety.�

Support can take many forms, but some concepts hold true:

• Support without judgment
• Avoid making the person feel that they will lose their family or support system if they return to or remain in the relationship
• Keeping the door open can be extremely important

Key phrases when communicating with a loved one:

• �I am here for you�
• �You can always call me�
• �I may not understand everything that is happening, but I will be here when you need me�

�Even when someone is not ready or able to leave, knowing that they have someone they can turn to can be meaningful,� Vancil said. �If there are immediate concerns about someone�s safety, family members can also reach out to a domestic violence program for guidance on how to support their loved one and develop a safety plan. They do not have to wait until the person experiencing the abuse is ready to seek services themselves.�

TO BE CLEAR, these are general observations regarding domestic violence and are not intended to speak to or draw conclusions regarding the circumstances surrounding any person in particular.

QUANADA has much more information on its webpage.

For information about support groups call (217) 222-0069.

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